She Can Hear You

When seeing a movie in a public theater, few things irritate Mrs. Grundy more than Moderns who continue to talk after the movie has begun. She will turn and with a clear voice remind them, “We are not in your living room.” 

However, the once-distinct lines between private and public space have blurred. Moderns often treat public spaces as their living room, with no regard for other occupants. And so, Mrs. Grundy must demonstrate the nuances of virtue to all and sundry. 

When Moderns speak loudly on their portable telephones, she points to her ears and says, “I can hear you.” If they persist, she repeats her gesture and phrase in increasing decibels, until sufficient to interrupt their conversation or incent them to relocate.   

She may express gratitude that she only had to hear one side of a banal conversation. 

She may also express regret that the delicate skill of eavesdropping will be lost if Moderns care nothing for their own privacy. 

In a similar vein, Mrs. Grundy reminds Moderns that, while they may be inured to the noises of their child’s video games, she is not.  She suggests children ought to read. Books are educational, free at the local library, and quiet. 

When just such an irksome situation occurred recently, Mrs. Grundy rose from her booth to address the parents nearby. She explained that she had reared The Miss Grundys without disturbing their breakfast, would they kindly rear their children without disturbing hers?  She then returned to her coffee and Full Stack.

Mrs. Grundy remembers when such impolite, disruptive behavior would not be tolerated. Yet, she fears she is out of touch, shushing a world that no longer believes silence is golden. 

Such a world is foreign to her. And, so, she will continue to shush. Indeed.