Baking Contest Aftermath

Now that the strong arm of the lawless has been exposed (See Baking Contest . . .Crisis),  Mrs. Grundy will have her say. Or, to paraphrase her contemporary, the humorist Mark Twain, Mayor Ashfield unwisely picked a fight with someone who buys ink by the barrel.  

Mrs. Mayor Ashfield’s coconut cake causes confusion at the sheep-shearing competition.

First, Mrs. Grundy admits she has used lead slugs in local parking meters. But, really, what city still has coin-operated meters? Nobody carries cash anymore, let alone loose change. Mrs. Grundy ought to be applauded for bringing this negligence to the people’s attention, not threatened with arrest (again).

Second, the press corps has rallied around Mrs. Grundy, opposing Mayor Ashfield’s blatant assault on her First Amendment rights. Major news outlets, from the Farm Almanac to the Round-Egg Weekly are refusing to cover the Mayor’s re-election campaign until he affirms his support for the First Amendment.

Third, it was most unseemly for Mrs. Mayor Ashfield to parade her prize-winning coconut cake around the fairgrounds. Carrying it into the 4-H sheep-shearing contest, where some mistook it for a sacrificial lamb, was especially offensive.

Mrs. Grundy knows for a fact the baking contest judges were all Ashfield family relatives. To wit, cousin Greeley Ashfield has a coconut allergy. He did not taste the cake in question, but voted for it nonetheless. Such dishonesty should not be tolerated, and yet, there it is.  

Finally, the Fair Board adjourned rather than consider the Five-County Dispatch request to restore Mrs. Grundy’s press credentials. Much like Congressional Mullets, the Board abdicated their duty and has set Five-County on a crash course with tyranny.

Mrs. Grundy remains vigilant and will pursue all possible avenues for appeal. She will share an exclusive tidbit only here, with her Grateful Readers. Mrs. Grundy Thinks the Baking Contest Aftermath may significantly increase her Pulitzer Prize-winning odds. Although, of course, she shuns the spotlight and would always prefer to let others shine in her stead. Indeed.