Baking Contest Leads to Constitutional Crisis (Part 1)

Mrs. Grundy defends freedom of the press at the Five-County Fair

Ever since the Five-County Dispatch began publishing her Keen Observations for a Virtuous Life, Mrs. Grundy has seen a Pulitzer Prize in her future. Accordingly, she oozed power and poise in her glen-plaid pantsuit as she went to cover the 2026 mayoral debate at the Five-County Fair.

Then, a swarm of security officers approached and confiscated her press badge. They took her, very much against her will, to see the incumbent mayor, Arthur K. Ashfield.

 “Mrs. Grundy and virtue? Ha!” Ashfield spat. Apparently, he had heard the (not entirely false) rumor that, in a pinch, Mrs. Grundy uses lead slugs, not coins, in the downtown parking meters. These are hard times at the Grundy Farm.

Yet, she suspected the Mayor was more concerned about her upcoming exposé. Mrs. Grundy would reveal that his wife had, surprisingly, won the cake competition every year since he became mayor. Before that, she couldn’t win Bronze in freezer cookies. 

Well, Mrs. Grundy would not be deterred by this petty politician. And cheating at baking contests was beyond the pale.

She adjusted her eyeglasses thusly and told the far-flung descendant of the querulous Dame Ashfield (who was present at Mrs. Grundy’s 1800 debut) he had no authority to detain her. If he persisted, the Dispatch would appeal to the Fair Board and, if need be, to the highest court in the land. No matter what he did to her, the Dispatch would still publish her damning report.

The Mayor was unfazed. “I don’t have to let you into my, er…, the people’s Fair. I can easily live-stream the debate from my phone.” Then, his ruffians escorted a furious Mrs. Grundy to the exit.

But she is no stranger to civil disobedience (See Let’s Go Swimming) and will resist the strong arm of the lawless. If faced with jail for her parking meter crime, she will do the time. Will the Mayor say the same? Indeed.