The Crisis of the Costly Burrito
Mrs. Grundy is gratified the savory burrito has ignited fierce Conservative debate about the affordability crisis. Certainly, whether a college student can afford a tortilla sandwich delivered to his dormitory is more important than the rising costs of diesel, fertilizer and premium chicken feed for the Grundys and other farmers.
She is also gratified the Vice Presidential Mullet used the burrito discussion to once again demonstrate his talent for casual cruelty.
Thusly, when local media found her enjoying a burro percherónwith the Grundy Farm crew, she did not hesitate to offer her considered opinion on the crisis of the costly burrito.
Under the camera’s unforgiving gaze, Mrs. Grundy asked why, if Fearful Leaders believe a crisis is afoot, they are not taking immediate action? Instead, Congress has departed for summer siestas, and the Presidential Mullet is obsessed with gilding stationary objects.
With the wisdom of ages, Mrs. Grundy asserted that the collective self-discipline of President Ford’s 1974 WIN (Whip Inflation Now)campaign may have failed, but at least he tried economic education and something more than bloviation.
She cited her friends Strunk & White, who might call affordability a fancy word for inflation. And she paraphrased that great economic wit Milton Friedman to assert there is no free lunch, especially now, after decades of wanton federal spending.
When the reporter tried to end the interview, Mrs. Grundy took the microphone in hand to address her vast television audience directly.
Speaking with her singular authority, she advised that one cannot both have their cake and eat it, too. And so, with the country facing crisis upon crisis – affordability, climate, Constitutional, debt, housing, mid-life, opioid, to name but a few – Mrs. Grundy Thinks the American People might prefer neglect, rather than enduring more solutions from the problem solvers who created the problems in the first place. Indeed.
