Mrs. Grundy Makes a Timely Discovery!

As the 2026 Midterm Elections creep ever near, Mrs. Grundy has discovered The Mullet School for Perpetual Incumbency, where incumbents learn essential strategies and tactics to ensure their re-election. She is pleased to share these exclusive details with her grateful readers.

First, school attendance is mandatory and surprisingly bipartisan, making it a unique example of universal education.

At enrollment, Mullets swear allegiance to the twelfth commandment: Thou Shall be Re-elected. Apparently, the school has abandoned the now-archaic eleventh commandment. Current practice is to disparage party colleagues and, if necessary, offer them as bloody sacrifice on the political altar as well.

Mrs. Grundy learned that once Mullets enroll and commit to winning at all costs, they are encouraged to abandon inconvenient principles. Students are easily identified by their red and blue ideological blinders and practiced theatrical outrage.

The curriculum includes: Finger Pointing 101; Sidestepping Serious Debate and Discussion; and Double Standards of Official Conduct. Mathematics is not offered, as that might lead to difficult choices and responsible spending.

Current international affairs classes are: Squandering Lives while Losing Wars; 50 Ways to Leave Your Allies; and, Storm? What Gathering Storm?

Mrs. Grundy was distressed that the elective class on virtue was cancelled. Apparently, enrollment was sparse and they found no qualified teacher. Clearly, they had not looked very hard, as Mrs. Grundy is both highly qualified and available.

She read a course syllabus detailing how to bully or bluff the press and the people into believing what they know to be false, or disbelieving what they know to be true.

The closing lecture promised bipartisan bacchanalia, as teachers and students would take turns describing, with glee, how they overlook and deny their respective Presidential Mullet’s turpitude and incompetence. Party before country was a recurrent theme. 

With first hand evidence of such camaraderie, Mrs. Grundy Thinks concerns about political polarization may be mistaken. Apparently, behind closed doors, this Quaint American Experiment will endure for the few, at the expense of the many. Indeed.