She Can Hear You

Mrs. Grundy applauds the recent critique of loudcasting published in her beloved Wall Street Journal. While that author cited experts in his arguments, Mrs. Grundy’s timeless authority requires no such third-party verification.

For she has long observed that the bright line between private and public has blurred. Moderns now treat public spaces as their private domains, with little regard for other patrons. 

This includes conducting conversations on speakerphones. 

However, Mrs. Grundy does not sit in silent frustration when this affront occurs. Nor will she be troubled to move away. She asserts her right to peaceful enjoyment. 

She was recently disturbed thusly. She pointed to her ears and said to the offender, “I can hear you.” The gentleman did not respond. As he persisted, so did she. She repeated her gesture and, “I can hear you” until sufficiently loud to disturb his conversation and bring the entire café to a standstill. After a tense moment, he put in his earphones and lowered his voice. She returned to her newspaper with a grateful nod.

Herein Mrs. Grundy demonstrated her firm belief that extremism in the pursuit of virtue is no vice. 

She also notes that the delicate skill of eavesdropping will be lost if Moderns care nothing for their own privacy. 

In a similar vein, Mrs. Grundy reminds Moderns that, while they may be accustomed to the noises of their children’s video games, she is not.  She suggests books are educational, free at the local library, and quiet. 

When this irksome situation also occurred recently, Mrs. Grundy rose from her booth. She observed to the parents that she had reared The Miss Grundys without disturbing their breakfast, would they kindly rear their children without disturbing hers? She then returned to her coffee and Full Stack.

Mrs. Grundy Thinks the world has abandoned the virtue of silence. But she is undeterred. She will continue to insist silence is golden, and to shush all and sundry. Indeed.