Sorry, Moses, No Can Do

In preparation for a foreign trip, Mrs. Grundy filled her Grundy Farm tote bag and went to her favorite Apple store. Normally, she would have made an appointment at the Genius Bar, but apparently a genius deficit has occurred and the Bar is now closed. 

When an Apple Specialist offered assistance, Mrs. Grundy emptied a nest of cords onto the counter. She asked which cords she would need while travelling overseas. 

When the Specialist tried to step away, Mrs. Grundy wondered aloud if the Apple Executive, Mr. Tim Cook, had faced a similar quandary before his recent trip to China with thePresidential Mullet. Did he sort through a jumble of cords and connectors?

Mrs. Grundy told the Specialist how much she enjoys the Undercover Boss television series; noting, however, that Mr. Cook had never appeared. She suggested technology Mullets like Mr. Cook might appear on the Undercover Customer, and experience shopping as if an authentic consumer.

Venting years of frustration, Mrs. Grundy decried the constant, tyrannical updates. New cords! New adapters, converters and connectors! New systems named after yet another obscure California landscape!

Undeterred by the gathering crowd, Mrs. Grundy said the unspoken aloud: Technology Mullets rival Presidential Mullets in their arrogance and edicts. She asked the Specialist to consider the world’s very soul if tech bro despots had controlled ancient history. 

She recalled the book of Exodus: Moses, angry with his people, broke the original stone tablets which were inscribed with the Ten Commandments by the finger of God. After intercession and negotiation, God agreed to inscribe the covenant a second time, on new tablets. But what, Mrs. Grundy asked, what if the finger of God was incompatible with the new stone? Would Apple require an upgrade to God’s finger?

Mrs. Grundy Thinks certainly, yes, and even require a full reboot if they deemed it necessary (or profitable).  Indeed.